And so it is over.
I lie here, unable to sleep, instead tapping away on the laptop, needing to leave for the airport in one hour, feeling a bit of a hole where the soundtrack to my life lives.
Tonight's show was truly radiant. At one point (during Moon Palace) I realized that it was all about to end. A tear welled up as I snapped out of my musically blissful daze that had me wrapped up for most of the show, and I feared for the end.
Luna marked for me the beginning of my musical self. I hadn't even owned a CD player for more than 3 months when we were first introduced at a tiny club on California Avenue in Palo Alto, CA in 1992. I was so impressed (by Anesthesia, specifically) that I wrote my (first, brand new) email address on their little clipboard at the table. (Dean later told me that he lost that list somewhere in the depths of a damaged hard drive.) From that moment on, Lunapark formed the sounds of freshman year. All other personal musical exploration has been in that context. Luna is the gold standard, always amazing, just doing music right. And now, we all must move on without that shining example. (Why can't any other band be this good?!?)
Tonight was radiant. Tiger lily was a supreme treat, as was Everybody's Talkin'. I was asked at the start of the show what I really wanted to hear. I was at a loss to answer, but if I could have somehow instantly scanned every one of Luna's 115 songs (according to my trusty iPod), these two songs would easily have been at the top of my list. Wow. What a treat. Thank you, Luna, for putting together such a perfectly stellar setlist for the end.
This weekend has been a dream. Discovering New York, meeting other fans, and saying farewell. Being here, in this place, it all seems to fall together as I see where the music came from.
I found myself desperately trying to find little ways to remember these shows (flowers for Britta, passing around the poster, photos for everyone, making my own setlists in sharpie on the backs of plane ticket confirmations) but really, it's only important to say that I now know Luna better than ever before. Every lyric, every note, I hear more clearly and understand more perfectly. I think, perhaps, this retirement is good for us too...
As my plane takes off going all the way to California, I'll start with Sleeping Pill, and see where that takes me next.
Love to Luna, love to you all who are feeling the same as I.
Goodnight, beautiful snowy city.